Question:

#1 i also have noticed that sexual relations are painfull since my crohns has advanced. #2 dont worry about the relationship ending,  you wukk sinedat meet someone that it will not matter to.  if a man loves you it will not matter to him whether or not you are able to have relations whenever he wants too. you ask how i know well i am married i have been diagnosed with crohns since aug. 91.  My husband has stood by me no matter what so dont worry, date and enjoy yourself when the relationship is right you will know it and he will not care that you cannot always meet his needs. if you need to talk

Response:

oops – did that again…… I have 2 good friends who also have crohns as I do.  We joke about sex and crohns frequently but here is what we’ve found….When I’m having a flare – my interest in sex diminishes – but not my husbands :*)….One friend  reports her and her husband went 6 months without during a flare.  The other states she continues to have sex but not very often. so there does seem to be an abvious effect which I feel is often related to eating.  If I don’t eat – I enjoy sex more.  Since this is not a good solution, I have found a couple ways to improve the odds….. I try to "schedule" sex during the day more often.  I don’t have as many crohns symptoms to deal with as I do in the afternoon/evening.   Another option is eating a later lunch and schedule supper AFTER the deed!!! Or – go for the alternatives to intercourse …… I’ve found that my husband can be just as happy looking over the top of my head as he is when he looks into my eyes!!!!!  (its ok to smile at that one!!!!) I’ve come to believe that the important thing to remember is that even tho we are ill, our partners are not and can still experiance the same sex drive as when we are well.  So just as I need compromises to acccommodate my health, I am happy to find ways to accommodate HIS needs. I may not always feel well, and my belly bloats uncomfortably, but I can certainly still move my hand:), and bobbing your head doesn’t make you feel ALL that much worse than you already may , I also seem to get the damn yeast infections more frequently than others may, so this also effects  my ability to actually have intercourse. But I will still get into the lacy/frilly thing even if its just to appease his visual desire. And sometimes I find out that even tho I thought I COULDn’t or WASN’T in the mood, something happens along the way and suddenly I’M the one who benefited!!!! But – as a disclaimer, I also must add…..it DOES take an understanding partner  -

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I am 21 years old and was diagnosed with Crohns about a year and a half ago, I have recently split with my boyfriend who was with me before my diagnosis. Since I was diagnosed with Crohns, I have found it hard to live a normal sex life, finding that I get very bad abdominal pains whilst having sex.  My boyfriend couldn’t handle being in a long term serious relationship with hardly any sex,  which is why the relationship ended a couple of months ago. I have recently started seeing someone new, but am worried that the same thing will happen again. Has anyone else ever suffered problems whilst having sex, and has anyone had their partner leave them because of this and has anyone found that that it does actually get better, I’m too scared to get envolved in another relationship, and have my partner tell me that he understands, and he’ll stick by me, only then to turn around and say that they cant handle it. It hurts. I don’t want to get hurt again, just because of my disease. Michelle

Response:

Yup, I have to agree. Best Friends first then the fun comes later.  :)  My boyfriend and I are best friends.  Sometimes we are more friends than lovers. But when we do happen to have a little fun "WATCH OUT".  HaHa  :)  :)  Gee, am I glad to have such a wonderful friend.  :) When I am having a flare up, he is the most supporting person in the world to me.  He takes care of me and does what he can to help.  But when I am feeling good, we make up for lost time.  :) Regards, Wanda – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – You need to be dating a better quality of person. Sex should be icing on the cake, not the cake itself. Dan

Response:

Hi Blanche, it is the side-effects of medicine like prednison or the pain and menthal health which effects the libido. When you have the partner who acts correctly it is okay. But any partner who loves you will act correctly!! – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – on this same topic, has anyone else experienced a total lack of libido? I’m not sure if it’s the meds or the disease….. – Blanche F.

Response:

Thank You thank You Thank YOu Thank YOu. Who many different ways can I say it. I was constantly depressed about two years after I was diagnosed and after 3 surgerys. It wasn’t until five years ago after a real bad almost fatal surgery( some surgeons graduated from the BOTTOM of their class) that my new internal medicine doc put me on antidepressants for chronic pain did I finally start to feel human again. It also helps a tone with my now serious chronic pain for adhesions, unfortunately after having peritenitis you can get adhesions even worse then usual. I am glad to see that other people are finding that they don’t always match  up with here first or so on GI doctor. BTW I was on amytriptaline for a long time and it made my mouth very dry I am now on a different one I am sorry  I don

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